It’s official. The annual white trash moment that marks the beginning of spring. It came late yesterday afternoon, as the sun warmed the world from the west. I took a break between the life chores of financial reckoning and cleaning the kitchen floor and carried a beer out to the very small second floor back porch. It was wonderful. The sun was warm and I was protected from the wind and Jack Reacher was near to solving the entire mess in Lee Child’s “Nothing to Lose.” I sat for maybe half-hour then took the beer can and, in an annual white-trash rite that marks the beginning of spring, tossed it over the railing and into the back yard.
Satisfied that spring was now official, I got up and grabbed the porch door handle to go back inside. I turned it. I turned it again. Looked down at the neighbor’s dog, who looked back up at me. Tried the handle again. And again. And again.
The door would not open.
Hit the door. It wouldn’t open. The neighbor’s dog was amused, but refused to do the Lassie thing and get help. I looked up and down the alley, but no one was there. I tried to sneak up on the door and catch it unaware, but it still would not open. I wondered what I would break if I had to jump from the porch. I thought I had one more handy-dude task to have done and it had to do with that %@#! door!
Then it opened. Don’t know why, don’t know how. After 40 minutes or so of twisting, turning, fretting, pleading with the neighbor’s dog and wanting to pee, the door opened.
Am not sure of the moral of the story, but do know that spring is upon us, marked by the official white trash ceremony.
And here’s to life’s equivalent of more warm moments on the porch and fewer doors that won’t open when you need them to.
I can picture it perfectly. Thank you for starting my day with a laugh!
I hope that “warm moment on the porch” didn’t have anything to do with having to go pee! You should have thrown your beer can (or chair) in my yard, the suffering needs to be expressed loud enough to break through taking care of kids. I didn’t think we ever left Cooper out for 40 minute at a crack, anyhoo, how do you know the Dog didn’t know exactly what was going on? They can be very perceptive. It might be time for the rescue rope to be installed, but I would caution against using while intoxicated. The phone might be a better idea. A very eloquent ode to Spring, but you left out the Burp for Dave.
thanks for sharing a bit of spring sunshine.
You were prbably dressed, right? That’s why the door opened. The rule is that the more you are undressed, the longer the door stays locked. Double the time for every degree below freezing.